Questions about Sex

I have heard a rumor that President Bush will give a major address on sex today. And why not? He is a virile Texas rancher and beefcake-in-a-flight-suit kind of guy and ought to know all about it.

Modesty prevents me from detailing my own prolific sexual exploits, yet despite that I have some questions regarding sex between fundamentalist Christian married couples. I know sex is supposed to happen between a woman and a man in that case. Some feel that the couple should also be of the same race. My questions are about what you can and cannot do.

What kind of positions are allowed? Dogstyle? Woman on top? Can you do it for fun? Or are you only allowed the old quick in and out in the missionary position with intent to make babies?

What if the husband and wife are washing dishes and get horny rubbing against each other? Can they pull down their pants and do it on the kitchen table? Can the husband take the wife while she is leaning over the kitchen counter?

What about oral sex? Is it allowed? Who gets to do what to whom?

And what about anal? Who gets to do what to whom in that situation?

Maybe, President Bush will discuss some of the specifics in his address. Inquiring minds like mine want to know.