Maker's and mean value theorems

Drinking Maker's Mark whiskey is like a version of a mean value
theorem. At first, you rise, then you reach a maximum, then you
decrease all the rest of the way in the closed interval, and never
achieve your maximum again.

That means you get happier up to point, then less happy.

What a pity. Wouldn't life be a whole lot better if you could just keep getting happier and happier from some magic elixir.

I think it has something to do with death and all that banal shit. Whatever, this is live blogging from Pippin', USA.